i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
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