Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
It's never too late to be topless.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
What a dumb baby whore.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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