"it" just moved
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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