ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
