I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
