I faked an abortion last night.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
