dude i'm inner monologue high
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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