My balls are so social today.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
