you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Randomize
