i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
