I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
