I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
