I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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