it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
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I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
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I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize