the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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