Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
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Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
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I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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