Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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