There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
