please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize