do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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