We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
