so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
