she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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