since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
