why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
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Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
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My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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