Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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