next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Your shirt... Was in my pants
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
