You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
