??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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