Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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