I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
