grandma shit on top of the toilet
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
