OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
