haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
