Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
