Betty ford says i'm here all night
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
