No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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