She's JV to your varsity
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I supernannyed him into submission
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