we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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