Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
