R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
