She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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