Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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