She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
