haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Welp...herpes.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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