Porn is love you can see.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
