TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It's blow job season.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
