i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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