i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Randomize
