Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
