Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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