Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
