What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
