I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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