bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
