I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
