My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
