Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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