Please don't use social media to get back at me.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize