I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
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