I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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