Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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