it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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